


Red Absolution

by ItsClydeBitches



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bloodplay, Church Sex, M/M, Strange and Inaccurate Fun With Religious Symbols, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 00:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11932929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsClydeBitches/pseuds/ItsClydeBitches
Summary: Jesse is all for an audience, but even he isn't sure he wants these two weirdos barging in while he's trying to bang Cass in the church.





	Red Absolution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zombiemommy22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombiemommy22/gifts).



> A gift for zombiemommy22! They wanted a fic where Cass and Jesse get walked in on. (They DO have a tendency to go at it like bunnies in public places...) So this is my attempt to oblige. Hope you like it! <3
> 
> Also, for the record the timeline in this is pretty wonky. Multiple canon divergences. Just go with it ;)

"Now I just gotta know how many Hail Marys this is gonna be."

Jesse let Cass's neck soak up his laugh, pushing back until the church window ground against his spine, hooking one leg behind Cass's knees and dragging him closer. The man was a damn force of nature when nestled in someone else's arms, though Jesse supposed that came with nearly a century of free love and experimentation. Still, it often surprised him how very... hungry Cass was. Like now. His hands were trying to be everywhere at once with absolutely no finesse, like a damn school boy too excited by his first time to take it slow: they crawled up Jess's back, into his hair, came back down onto his shoulders before sliding to his ass, forcing their way between skin and tight jeans. Cass ground against him with a desperation that spoke of youth and then a slow, teasing rhythm that had experience written all over it. Jesse groaned and gripped tight to Cass's shirt, grinning bright at all the thoughts of riding him.

But when Jesse opened his eyes he could see the pulpit just a few feet across from them. The fact that he'd be speaking there tomorrow, eyes straying to this very spot where Mrs. Jones would be sitting, re-imagining this encounter superimposed over her Sunday best... it was both disturbing and surprisingly hot.

Emphasis on the hot.

"Going to need more than Hail Marys and some All Fathers," Jesse said, panting. "I'm beginning to think the two of us need cleansing from that holy water over there."

It was a new addition to the church, something Jesse had never particularly wanted—he wasn't the blessing, absolving, listen to your confessions kind of preacher—but Emily had insisted. "They need it," she'd said, hands planted firmly on her hips in the manner Jesse had long come to associate with certain doom. "This isn't about what you want, Jesse, it's about what will make your flock feel safe, help them through the hard times. You owe it to them." Well hell, who was he to argue with that? So they'd driven out to the nearest Ikea and bought themselves a font on the cheap, spray painting it grey ("It still don't look like stone, Em"), and setting it up right at the front of the church. Jesse had needed to look up the right way of blessing water... but no one needed to know that. As far as the community was concerned, they had the real deal in their dinky, dusty church.

And now Cass was eyeing it with far too much interest.

He pulled back— _Jesus_ —and Jesse groaned loud at the separation, cursing as the hands went away and the pressure left and there was nothing now but cold air to cushion him. He glared at Cass from beneath hooded eyes.

"Where the fuck you going?" he growled.

"I'm thirsty," Cass said, laughing, and turned to saunter up the aisle towards the font. It took Jesse's wobbly legs a healthy moment to kick-start and follow him.

"Don't you dare," he started, but it was an empty threat all around. It was really no joke, their talk of repentance for sinning in the church. Jesse could only too easily imagine his father's expression had he been alive to see his work now, or the town folks' at learning what their violent, but ultimately honorable preacher was up to after hours. He had no delusions about what he was... Jesse was _weak_.

_Weak in the knees and bowels for this here bastard_ , he thought.

Cass was already draped over the font, trying too hard to strike a sexy pose—hilarious—and running the tips of his fingers through the water. He flicked a few droplets at Jesse when he got into range.

"Now thou art healed," he intoned.

"Right. Not how it works, Cass."

"No?" He scooped up a whole palm-full instead, tilting his head back and pouring it down his throat. The bob of his adam's apple, the scruff on his chin, the obscene bulge in his pants that Cass deliberately, knowingly, kept on display... it was nearly enough to short-circuit Jesse's poor, abused brain and make him forget how fucking wrong this all was.

"Don't drink it," he moaned and something about his tone sent Cass into a spasm of laughter. The holy water spewed out of his mouth and down onto his shirt. Jesse closed his eyes, praying that this didn't earn him an even worse stay in hell.

He sighed. "Guessing the whole 'holy water against vamps' thing is another myth, huh?"

"Too right." Cass was back to leaning and soaking, like he was taking the day off at the pool. "Holy water is a bust. So is garlic. _Love_ me some Italian. The mirror thing is phooey too—wouldn't it be horrible if I couldn't see my own handsome mug?—and don't get me started on the whole 'permission to enter' thing. Or bloody hell, vampires needin' to _count_ shit."

Jesse stared. "... never heard of that one."

"Plenty have. Stupid fuckers spilling rice all over the floor."

His frustrated words contrasted to the still teasing look on Cass' face. He crooked a finger forward. Jesse went hesitantly. Cass didn't soak him again though, just reached up and over the font to slip the small knife from Jesse's pocket.

He unfurled the blade slow and sure until Jesse had no illusions about what they were heading towards.

He had scars alright, a whole slew of them, from bar fights and beatings and the general insanity that came with living in a town like Annville. Lately though Jesse had accumulated a larger number than usual: blinding white lines that weren't random like the rest of his collection, just scattered across his body. No, they were methodical. On his thighs or the insides of his arms, across the length of his ribs... and one, a bite mark, at the base of his neck. That there pocketknife had been worked hard the last few months. Enough that Jesse had given it a sharpening just a few days before.

The game was familiar to him... Cass' shit-eating grin was not.

"Please don't tell me you're planning what I think you're planning," Jesse said. Sure enough Cass danced on tiptoe and snatched Jesse's wrist with the same exuberance that a kid would grab at candy. Jesse sighed as Cass carefully rolled up his sleeve and then hissed, quiet, as the blade skimmed across the back of his arm.

It was less blood than Cass normally took, but more than enough to color the water. Jesse watched as it trickled into the font and couldn't help but feel like he was offering something grand.

" _Now_ it's holy," Cass chuckled. He dropped Jesse's wrist in favor of scooping up another mouthful of water, moaning this time as he drank up the pinkish liquid. Jesse felt like he was moving in slow motion as he closed the distance between them, trailing his own hand in the water, barely feeling it as it came up to soak into his cut. With sudden speed and violence he splashed Cass and used the movement to grip him by wet hair, grinding against him as Cass laughed, thin rivets of red running down into his open mouth.

"What do you think, padre?" He breathed, fumbling to get Jesse's belt open. "You willing to bless me now? It'd be a real honor, gettin' absolved by your blood...

Jesse skimmed his teeth along the tender side of Cass' neck, nipping and loving the reversal. "You can _not_ be this dense."

"Sure about that?"

"Considering you’re over a hundred and Irish? No, pretty sure you've got a better handle on religion than this."

Whatever else Jesse might have said was cut off as Cass finally got his hand down into his pants, palming his cock until that front spot on his jeans was soaked through. Jesse cursed, smothering those embarrassing, needy sounds by sucking deep into Cass' skin, feeling his thin frame trembling against him, listening to the creak of the floorboards—

Wait.

He'd _fixed_ the floorboards on this end of the church.

Jesse whirled. He pulled Cass behind him—ignoring his squawk—and steadied himself on the font's edge. There he found the abandoned knife and flipped it into his hand. Jesse pointed it straight out, knowing he was a damn formidable sighteven with his pants open and an openly bleeding arm.

"Hey there," he said.

There were two dark shadows at the other end of the room, so stock-still that for a moment Jesse mistook them for twin pillars his poor church didn't have. They must have come in from the back, the side-door connecting to the kitchen that Emily never locked because who the hell robbed anyone in Annville? One was tall. The other stout. Though Jesse couldn't be sure from this distance, he didn't think they were armed. Something in the way they carried themselves...

"Holy shit," Cass breathed. He was pressed flat against Jesse's back, body taught now for entirely different reasons. "It's them!"

Jesse didn't dare turn his head. "What? _Who_?"

"Them! The bloody fuckin' government clones I told you about."

He was about to tell Cass that it was very much not the time for his elaborate jokes when the two stepped forward, so in-synch that Jesse couldn't help but think of other Sci-Fi shit like cyborgs and androids. Their identical clothes didn't help, nor the fact that in white button ups, beige coats, and skinny blue ties they _did_ look exactly like the kind of assholes the government would employ. Or clone.

"Hey, fellas." Jesse said again. He hid the knife at his side and put on his best preacher voice. "Look, I'm an adventurous guy, and normally I wouldn't mind an audience—"

Cass' head snapped to him. "You wouldn't?"

"—but not today, alright? How about a little privacy?"

The skinny one started working his mouth like a cow chewing cud. He finally raised a hand and pointed a figure accusingly at Jesse. Had the situation not been what it was, Jesse might have found it all funny.

"This is a house of God," he said, full of indignation. Even from across the room Jesse could see him shaking.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. So? It's _my_ house of God."

That sent a flash of red across the man's face and the other came dithering up, placing hands on arm and back in what was probably supposed to be reassuring gestures. He had to stand on tip-toe to whisper in the other's ear but it seemed to do little good. He began marching down the church at a clipped pace and Jesse tightened his grip on the knife.

"You," the man hissed, "were—were—"

Jesse took a step forward of his own, keeping his free hand trained against Cass'. "What? Fornicating? Having sex? _Fucking_? Well, if we’re technical we were going for some hand jobs, but either way I’m sure God gave that to mankind real early on. Oh, or was it the sodomy you two have a problem with? If so please, take a goddamn refresher course." Jesse nodded to one of the many bibles left in his pew. "You're a real shit scholar if you buy into that junk. God condemns violence, exploitation, worshiping false idols, and all the other shit people pull when things get heated... not two people loving one another. If you believe that than your God sure as hell ain't mine."

It caused the man to falter for a second. Rather than the rage Jesse had expected he merely looked confused. He ground his teeth in frustration, not unlike a willful toddler.

"Not in _here_ ," he finally said. "You are meant to be his servant!"

"And you're meant to introduce yourself before you start slinging accusations, but it looks like we're both sinners, huh?"

Jesse had been in a whole slew of strange, dangerous situations, but this one topped his list for sheer disorientation. He'd been with Cass just seconds before, enjoying himself real nice, and now he was near spitting in the face of this creep, wondering if, like so many of his encounters, this one would end in blows. Jesse was all too aware of the frustration—mostly sexual in nature—thrumming through him and pushing him to find release in some other way. He might have done just that if the other fellow hadn't puttered up again and put a firmer restraining hand on his friend's arm.

"Fiore, love..." (Jesse's eyes widened at that), "This is _not_ why we came here."

"Well why the fuck did you come then?" Cass demanded. He leveraged himself on Jesse's shoulder to glare at them both. "I saw you two asshats sneaking around this here church the other night, real late. They were up to no good, padre, I'm telling you."

The shorter man turned his gaze on Cass and Jesse was startled by its intensity. "Up to no good? You're forgetting the part where _you_ killed us and buried our bodies out back."

_What?_

Jesse felt more than saw Cass stiffening with guilt. "...well. Yeah. It was real dark, see, and I might have hit 'em both with the truck..." After a moment he flailed angrily. "Why are we focusing on the manslaughter here, huh? Isn't anyone wonderin' how they're suddenly up and about? Because I'd bet all my savings that if we go diggin' we'll find those two bodies right where I left 'em. _Government clones_ , Jesse."

"We're not clones," the man snapped. "We're... searching for something. Our sources tell us that some rather strange happenings have been going on in your town, preacher. We had come to speak with you and, well." He straightened, leaving his left hand digging into Fiore's shoulder. "You can forgive us if we didn't expect to find you doing _that_."

Jesse didn't know what to say and with his very first twinge of shame he flipped and slid the knife into his back pocket, moving to cover his damn, exposed boxers through the open zipper. At that Fiore made a sound so disgusted that Jesse actually felt a second twinge—damn them!—and turned to go.

Funny thing about timing though: theirs might have been shit, but Jesse's was right on the mark.

Everything clicked into place a second before they got out that door.

" ** _Stop._** "

They did, as Jesse knew they would, and Cass let out a whoop of joy at the sudden turn in their fun. He practically danced down the aisle as Jesse finished zipping his pants.

" ** _Don't speak. Just get back over here_**."

When they turned Jesse found that his hunch had paid off. These two weren't just surprised by the power that bent them to Jesse's will, they actively _recognized_ it. The shorter man was bug-eyed as his feet drew him closer while the tall one, Fiore, was ablaze with righteous anger. Jesse knew that look and he was damn sure the guy would get his hands around his throat if given the chance.

Jesse met them halfway.

"Right. Here's the thing. My buddy? He's a vampire. Uh huh. Just let that sink in for a sec." Cass had gotten behind them and was making exaggerated biting motions at their necks. Jesse rolled his eyes. "So unlike most sane people, when he says he killed two assholes, buried them, and then they showed up right as rain later, I _actually believe him_. Only thing I don't buy into is the government conspiracy bit."

"Oh c'mon. I was right there with you until then, padre."

"Rather," Jesse continued. "I'm pretty damn sure there's something... biblical going on here. Vampires, fiery balls of energy that slam between my ribs and let me do _anything_ I want," he smiled as the shorter man's eyes grew wider. "You. **_What's your name?_** "

"DeBlanc." The word spewed right out of him.

"Fiore and DeBlanc. Nice to meet you. See? Now that we've gotten introductions out of the way..." Jesse let the pause lengthen. "Take off your clothes."

It was Cass' turn to roll his eyes and oh, Jesse just barely kept the smirk off his face. Because they both knew he wasn't going to _do_ anything. He wasn't that kind of sicko. But the kicker was, these two assholes didn't know that.

"Supernatural shit," Jesse said, shaking his head. "Getting real popular around here, isn’t it? I'm not much for coincidence, so when a vamp moves in and I get plowed over by God himself, I tend to think that the two mysterious men wandering around might be in on it too."

"It's not God," DeBlanc said.

"Yeah? Says who? You? And what kind of authority is that?" When DeBlanc went still as stone and Fiore raised his gaze haughtily to the ceiling, Jesse just smiled. "Exactly. See, I could make you both tell me, but I just don't _care_."

He wandered back to the font, lifting it (damn, cheap material) and carrying it back, careful not to let any of the water spill. In fact, he was so careful that it took Jesse two minutes to get back to DeBlanc and Fiore, to situate the font to his liking. Two long, horrible minutes where they stood naked in Jesse's church, their clothes piled haphazardly, Cass snickering as he made obscene gestures that belonged in an elementary schoolyard.

"You two, **_kneel_**."

It wasn't an arousing scene by any means, yet Jesse's dick didn't seem to care. He hurried just a little in the end, ready to be finished with these bozos and get back to the goods.

The thought flittered by as Jesse caught Cass shaking his ass at Fiore's kneecaps. Right. Goods maybe, but discounted and slightly damaged. Jesus.

"Get over here," Jesse muttered.

Cass came like an eager puppy and Jesse wasted no time in making an identical slice on his arm. The rest was slow though, trailing kisses up Cass' wrist and licking the trails that escaped down his fingers. All the while Jesse kept eye contact with Fiore and DeBlanc, giving them a show.

It was only when the font was filled with both their blood—and Fiore had lost most in his face—that Jesse pulled back, leaving Cass to curse and whimper his fair share. Standing before the two men Jesse let his features settle; his tone even out.

"You come before me as sinners, in nothing but the flesh God gave you, and I, as servant of the Lord, absolve you."

Jesse took careful handfuls of the bloodied water and poised them over their heads. As one he let it wash from his fingers and into their hair.

DeBlanc appeared awed. It was Fiore who now shook with horror and disbelief.

"You can't _do_ that," he whispered.

"No? Why not?" Jesse wiped his hands on his pants and held one behind him. Cass immediately took it. "Far as I can figure I can do whatever the hell I want now, and what I want to do is him." Both their arms shook as Cass laughed. Jesse grinned. "I've given you two boys a real opportunity though. Absolved of your sins, conveniently naked... why, this is the start of all the best pornos. I suggest you two do yourselves a favor and take this time to find out just how great having sex in a church is. Who knows, maybe if you're lucky your explorations will end with some sticks getting pulled out of your asses."

That was that, far as Jesse was concerned. He gave a careless command to let them move now, but neither got to their feet. Far as he knew, they were still kneeling there by the time Jesse and Cass were back outside.

The church door slammed shut behind them.

"Cass? Our lives are fucking weird."

He turned on his heel, hooking fingers into Jesse's belt loops and dragging him towards the church's backyard, keeping close to the shadows. Cass' grin made the cut on Jesse's arm burn fierce and fine.

"I know, and it’s all the better, padre."

***

**Bonus:**

 

"Cassidy."

"Hm?"

“…”

“ _Wha?_ ”

"Is this the spot where you buried their bodies?"

"Oh, um...maybe?"

"..." 

"Jesse?"

"Alright then." 

Weird didn’t even cut it anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
